Summer (not so) Special

And so, Phil Mitchell pulled the lid off his own Pandora's Box and flung the contents everywhere. I anticipated a complete meltdown, but all we had was crisis-lite. It started promisingly, with poor Ben, wild eyed with fear and Phil losing control; his outburst about being beaten by his own father and anger towards his mother seemed to be leading to a big confrontation with Peggy. But it didn't happen, instead we had a flat bit of dialogue between him and Archie, full of pull yourself together/draw a line under it codswallop. The upshot seemed to be that Phil should forgive his brutal Dad because he had made the ultimate sacrifice by not running away with the exotically named Maureen Loftus. Never mind that he'd spent his remaining years physically and mentally abusing his eldest son. This was followed by a rapid reconciliation between Ben, Phil, Peggy and Archie; the only dissent being expressed by Ronnie who floats around like a one-woman Greek chorus whispering: 'Woe, woe and thrice woe!'

Now I like Archie a lot and the Weymouth episodes were very good, but I hope the charming menace he brought then starts to manifest soon in Walford. His romance with Peggy is, so far, wooden and unconvincing; the gap in age between the actors is frankly obvious and makes it even harder to believe in.

Finally Tracey has spoken! Words of world weary cynicism dripped into Sean's flapping ears. Still, I was left wanting more; surely they can't relegate her back to silent pint pulling now? She should befriend Shirley and spill more beans of bitterness.

Suzy Branning; so far, so what? Another pneumatic, manipulative, lying female tottering around on the make. She has a secret in her hideous pink handbag; what can it be? It looks bulky and awkward; maybe it's an old Subway sandwich or a 1980s mobile phone. I find it hard to care at the moment. It seems fairly obvious what it could be and no doubt it will play its part in the future.

The Heather and Shirley Show rumbles back into view; this is getting dangerously close to being dull and repetitive. I don't think I can stand another scene where Hev dances around to 'Wake Me Up Before You Go Go' while chewing a mouthful of Stinking Bishop. Meanwhile, Shirley lies around doing her Ronnie Wood impersonation, drowning in yet another self pitying bucket of Vladiboring vodka.

Happy Days!